Bloody Hell!
by FriendsofSlytherin
Summary: Lots of deaths to come! IT's hilarious! One of the deaths is......well I can't tell you. Read my story and find out. A little romance & a little laughs. Lot's of mystery. What will happen when our brave hero or heros DIE! Find out, invloves imferi latter!
1. Bloody Hell

Ron was in the corner snogging Lavender just as Hermione walked in. He did not see her but he could feel that she was there. He paused for a moment and looked around the room blankly. Lavender turned to him and said in a hushed voice, "What is it my love?"

"It's nothing," he replied, "I just thought that I saw something.

Hermione ran down the corridor dripping tears out of her eyes as she went. Why couldn't he just admit that he loved her, she thought. She didn't know where she was going, she just wanted to get as far away as possible from Ron. She kept running until she bumped into Harry.

"Oh, hi Hermione, where are you headed off to at this time of night, there aren't any classes. Are you looking for Ron? I think he's up in the common room with Lavender"

At this Hermione fell into his arms bawling. She felt as thought she was hyperventilating. Once she had caught her breath, she told Harry about what was troubling her. He hugged her while telling her comforting things. After a while Hermione backed away pausing for a brief moment. Harry came closer leaning in. She could feel his hot breath on her lips as he inched closer, and then it happened. They kissed, and they kept kissing until a prefect came and broke it up.

When Hermione arrived at the common room with Harry some people whispered, for they had noticed that Harry and Hermione where holding hands. Ron came up to them and said, "What's this!"

"Well _Won Won_, you didn't seem to be that interested seeing as you where snogging your precious _Lav Lav_!" Hermione retorted.

Ron stormed up to the boy's bedroom room slamming the door behind him.

"Was that really necessary you little prat?" Lavender said impatiently as she ran after an aggravated Ron.

Hermione was quite pleased with herself. Later, after Harry and Hermione were done snogging, he went up to the bedroom and sat next to Ron.

"Ron, are you awake?"

"I am now you bloody idiot!"

"Ron, I am really sorry about, well about what's going on with me and Hermione."

"Bloody hell, is that you got me up for!"

"Well sort of"

"I don't care what you do with Hermione!"

"You seemed to care a half hour ago"

"Well I don't bloody care now!"

"Are you sure?"

"BLOODY HELL HARRY! I'M SURE, HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU!"

"Okay, fine"

By this time all of the boys and some of the girls had awoken. Seamus threw a pillow at Ron and Harry and told them both to shut up or he would find another place to put his wand. Neville just mumbled something about Snape and birds. Ron and Harry both went back to sleep and awaited a brand new day. The next day Harry awoke with something in his mouth.Oh, this tastes disgusting. As he awoke he heard boys laughing their heads off, and Ron was standing over him smiling slyly.


	2. RON!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable Harry Potter characters, I only own the story, Rachel, and Brad. J.K. I love your books, they inspired me to become a writer!

"Petuuy! What is this stuff, RON," Harry bellowed so that you could hear it in the Great Hall. "What revolting thing did you put in my mouth you prat!" he pretty much screamed this time.

"Oh, you know, a little o' this a little o' that," he replied.

"Ron, what did you put in my mouth?"

"Well, this morning I thought about what you asked me last night, and I am NOT all right with it! So, I got out of bed and mixed together a batch of some owl dung and some vomit Bertie Botes!"

"RON! I'll get you, you fugly prat!"

"Hold still Harry!"

"I'm trying Hermione. It's just a little hard to not squirm when your girlfriend is shoving a toothbrush down your throat!" he protested.

"Well if you think there is any possibility in the world that I am snogging you with that horrid breath, you would be crazy! And when I'm done with this toothbrush, it's going straight to the trash!"

"How's it going Hermione?"

"Ron, I'm not in the mood right now, I'm a little busy thanks to you! Harry stop fidgeting!"

"Glad I could be of assistance," he replied holding back his laughs.

"Ron, you stupid prat, go away before I find somewhere else to stick my parchment!"

"Fine, I'm going!"

"Hey Hermione, what are you doing?"

"Oh, hi Brad"

"Done!" Hermione said excitedly.

Just as Hermione and Harry were trying to find a room where they could have some privacy, a girl stopped Hermione to ask her a question.

"Hermione?"

"Not now Rachel," she said pausing for a moment, "I…I have to tutor Harry."

"Oh, I was just wondering if you've seen Peeves, he took my Transfiguration book, and my next class is Transfiguration!"

"That book, I retrieved it from Peeves earlier, it's up in the common room"

"Thanks!"

After Harry and Hermione were done "studying" Harry put his hands over her eyes and took her to the common room where he said he had a surprise for her. When she opened her eyes she saw, standing there in the middle of his hand was a cute, little, pink, piggly puff. She squealed with delight as she grasped it from his hands. It was taking a nap and was as cute as could be.

"Oh Harry, Your so sweet," she swooned.

"The best present for my best girl"

"Maybe not the best," she replied slyly

Just as Harry and Hermione were sitting down to admire her cute, new, piggly puff, Ron walked in probably for the first time in a while without Lavender. He walked right past them without even bothering to say hi. Hermione just rolled her eyes, but Harry looked worried.

"Don't worry about it, Ron's just being a stupid, little prat!"

"But Hermione, Ron's one of my beset mates, I don't want to loose him!"

"He doesn't seem to be your best mate!"

"That's because he really mad about us being together!"

"Really?"

"No dib Sherlock!"

"I didn't know he felt that way"

Harry gave her a questionable look, and Ron walked into the room. Hermione pulled Harry into a lip lock as the red head walked by. After he had left Harry pushed away. He looked as if he was going to cry. He ran towards the boys' bedroom and Hermione ran off after him protesting.

"Harry stop, please!"

"Why Hermione? It's not like you care about me anyway,"

"Oh stop being so stupid you prat!"

"What?"

"You heard me Harry"

"I don't feel like talking to you right now, I had feelings for you but I see that the feeling isn't mutual."

"No Harry,…..wait I really do like you, I like you a lot"

"But aren't you just dating me to get back at Ron"

"That's how it started but now…Harry I…"

to be continued

So, how do you guys like my new chapter, please submit reviews I am desperate! I need fans! I know that Brad and Rachel have not shown up much, but in coming chapters they will.


	3. Room of Requirement

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters I just own my story and Rachel and Brad! I wish I owned the Harry Potter stories, because then I would be a filthy rich person like J.K.! I love your books J.K. keep up the good work.

"Harry……"

"Talk to me when you actually have a good excuse!" Harry was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"HARRY I LOVE YOU!" she splurted out.

The boys and girls in the common room gave them odd looks. Some of the girls gave Hermione a death ray with their eyes.

"What? What did you say?"

"You heard me perfectly well! I said I loved you okay, I love you I love you I love you! But I don't think the feeling is _mutual_!

Harry grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a longing passionate kiss, a kiss that would tell her all of his feelings. She embraced him kissing him, letting his tongue explore her mouth. She held him like she had never held someone before. Harry realized that they were still in the common room, getting quite a few stares if I might add and a few whistles. He led her out of the common room and onto the grand staircase. Hermione gave him longing kisses on the way. He led her all of the way into the room of requirement, and you can figure out the rest! No I'm just kidding! When they got to the room of requirement they opened the door to find Pansy and Draco in the middle of taking off each others drawers. Hermione screamed and Harry just started laughing. Pansy looked frightened and embarrassed as she scrambled to grab her things before hiding behind Draco, who was covered in sheets.

"Get out of here you filthy little Mudblood!" Pansy screeched.

"Malfoy, do something!" she screamed

Draco pulled out his wand and mumbled something under his breath.

To be continued

I know, I'm sorry it's so short, I haven't figured out how to put Brad and Rachel into the plot, but I will don't worry. Don't I have the best cliff hangers, I'm I keeping you on the edge of your seat with excitement? Please review!


	4. Hysteric Hermione

Disclaimer: For like the billionth time I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters! I just own the plot and Brad and Rachel! J.K. I love your books and please don't sue me!

Malfoy raised his wand and murmured something.

Harry went flying backward, and Hermione started screaming her head off. Then he pointed his wand towards Hermione and chanted something, but before he could finish he was flung backward onto Pansy, and Harry was standing in front of Hermione. Malfoy grabbed Pansy's wrist and led her out of the room. Hermione had been hurt, for when Harry was flung backward she had flown against the wall. Harry took Hermione to the Hospital Wing and told Pomfrey that she had fallen down the stairs. When Hermione awoke Harry told her that she had broken her arm and would be able to leave in an hour. As she was walking down the hallways, her and Harry arm in arm, someone had tripped her. She turned around just quick enough to see a head of read hair darting around the corner. Harry cast a freezing charm on the person's feet. Of course, it was a jealous Ron. Harry froze the rest of his body and threw him into a trash can.

"Serves that little weasel right!" he exclaimed

"Right," she said unsurely

After Ron had unfrozen he went up to the abandoned common room to find Harry slowly undressing Hermione. Ron nearly exploded and ran up to Harry and started to strangle him saying 'You knew I liked her you &$!'

"Ron stop! Please stop!" Hermione said crying

"You'll pay you &$!"

"Ron I don't love you, please, don't you understand? If you really loved me you would let me love Harry"

"I don't believe that!"

Harry was now lying on the floor unconscious. Ron looked at Harry's condition with a horrified look on his face, and then ran off. Hermione started screaming for help and laid over Harry's body shaking uncontrollably and crying herself into hysterics( she thought that Harry was going to die) Hermione had awoken many of the Gryffindor students, one of them who would get Minerva.

"What happened Hermione!"

Hermione just started shaking her head vigorously.

"I…..Harry!"she started screaming hysterically, "Harry, NO STOP PLEASE! JUST STOP"

Now Hermione had lost it, she was shaking uncontrollably (You have to understand that one of her best friends had just killed the love of her life, or so she thought).Minerva started to move towards her, but Hermione started screaming at the top of her lungs. She grabbed a lamp and attempted to bash Minerva head with it. Minerva quickly dogged it and mumbled a spell. Instantly Hermione fainted and fell down unconscious. When Harry awoke, in a rather bloody condition, he went to see Hermione. She was curled up in a ball repeating Harry's name over and over. Harry came to her side and held her tightly in his arms. She relaxed and fell asleep, and Harry just stayed their needing to hold her after his near death experience. He needed to touch her, to feel the warmth departing from her body. Harry had been unconscious for days, and during these days Hermione refused to eat. If Harry was dead she wanted to be dead. Harry hated Ron for how he had made her suffer. Harry left her side, marching down the hall finding Ron near the outside of the common room, alone. Ron backed away slowly. Begging for mercy.

"Harry, I'm so sorry, please I didn't mean to! I didn't know what I was doing,…or thinking!"

Harry had backed Ron into a corner.

"Please Harry don't hurt me! Please I'm begging you!"

"What about Hermione? What about when she begged you for mercy….for ME!"

"I'm sorry," he squeaked, while crying

"SECTUMSEMPRA!"

Ron flew back against the wall, bleeding uncontrollably.


	5. Arrival

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE RECOCNIZABLE HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS! I LOVE MALFOY AND TOM FELTON( I KNOW THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE WEIRD BUT IT'S NOT LIKE HE IS GOING TO READ THIS STORY ANYWAY!

P.S. Why do we have to put disclaimers if J.K. knows she wrote the book(possibly(get my hint)anyway? It's not like she is going to read my story anyway! Thought! What if she does read it and she likes my plot! Maybe that's why we write disclaimers! So she can't steal our plots! Actually I would sell my plot to J.K. if she wanted it!

"Ron? No………Ron, com'on wake up you prat. Ron… wake up……RON WAKE UP! Please wake up! PLEASE! Harry sobbed uncontrollably.

Harry called for help, but no one heard him. He tired to heal Ron but he just made it worse. Harry scooped Ron up into his arms and ran down the Grand Staircase. He brought him to Madame Pomfrey, but it was to late. She pulled the bed sheets over Ron's head and told Harry the news. Once she had left Harry screamed a spell as loud as he could, and then there was a thud and nothing but silence. Harry had pointed his wand at himself and yelled, 'AVADACADABRA!' Yes the killing curse. Harry could not live without Ron and would rather die than loose him, so he did. Madame Pomfrey came back into the room the next morning to find Harry's cold, dead corpse lying over Ron's. She ran to Dumbledore's office, screaming her head off on the way. She told him what she saw and Dumbledore just stared at her. She had to have seen wrong! There was no possible way, but then again, there is no greater love then the love of a friend. Dumbledore summoned Mcgonagal and told her what had happened. She and he ran down to the hospital wing and were shocked in horrer at what they saw. It was just as Pomfrey had said.

"We can't tell Hermione! Not in the state that she is in, oh Albus! What are we to do!"

"No we can not. It seems to me that we should tell her but I fear for her very life. I fear for her sanity."

"Albus…….the…the….oh dear, oh no! Albus THE PROFACY! What are we to do now! He who must not be named will be sure to rise!"

"Speak his name Professor, especially at a time like this! We want to show Voldemort that we are not afraid, we must be strong, for the students!"

Minerva was speechless. Just then Flitwick came barging through the doors.

"Um… Professors……we have a problem!"

"What is it, we are a little busy!" Minerva screeched.

"It seems to be that….how do I put this……WE'RE DOOMED, DOOMED I TELL YOU DOOMED!"

"What are you talking about?"

"A….a student found out how to get the death eaters into the school!"

"WHAT!" bellowed Dumbledore.

When they entered the great hall they saw students screaming and yelling and running away from what appeared to be death eaters. The students were trying to run to there common rooms and Minerva saw that one had failed. There lying dead on the floor was Seamus. She tried to hold off the death eater for as long as she could, and finally got away. She grabbed as many bodies as she could, hoping that one of them would still be alive, and she got her wish. There on top of the piles of bodies was Neville. She saw his finger move and ran to him. She grabbed him and the other bodies, some of them dead, and rushed them to the Hospital wing.

"Pomfrey, please tell me you can help them!" Minerva begged while crying.

"Minerva,…..MINERVA! GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF WOMAN! NOW IS THE TIME MORE THATN EVER TO BE CALM!"

Minerva was very surprised at this.

"AND WHAT DO YOU SUGGGEST WE DO OH MIGHTY ONE!"

"First of all," she said very calmly, "We must get these poor students healed, and you professor must fight, we cannot loose this battle"

Minerva ran to the Entrance Hall pumped up and ready to kick some death eater butt. She went after a tall blond woman, hitting her with several curses, causing the woman to fly against the wall. Finally Minerva hit her with Sectumsempra which killed her. Minerva was curious to whom this was and she went toward her, stepping over the dead corpses as she passed. When she lifted the death eaters hood she cupped her hand over her mouth. For this death eater was none other than…..

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Ha Ha a cliff hanger (suspenseful isn't it? Evil laugh- Muahhahahaha!)


	6. Witches and well you know

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the Harry Potter book. I wish I did but I don't. I wish I owned Tom Felton….drool……He is so hot, he is the hottest thing on this Earth! Once again my dear fans, I know it sounds weird but it's not like he is ever going to read my crappy story. Hey Tom, if you ever read this I got IMAX tickets to the fourth Harry Potter movie! I think you're an awesome actor! Keep up the great work! I only own the plot, and Rachel and Brad!

She lifted the hood and found to her disbelief that the cloaked woman was none other than Narcissa Malfoy. She ran away and dodged another curse coming form another cloaked figure. He kept pursuing her until she was cornered.

"Dumbledore, please he me!" she replied in a hoarse voice as he was choking her.

"FILTHY LITTLE BITCH, YOU'LL DIE FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" The figure told her. "AVADA-"

He was hit with a curse and flew backward, and for what seemed like a second he was down, and then he got back up as quickly as he had fallen.

"Who?" the figure cried.

It and Minerva turned to see a boy. The boy just stood there and stared, amazed at what he had just done. McGonagall was his favorite teacher. He was a tall plump boy, and by now you've guessed who it was. It was none other than our own scaredy cat, Gryffindor, Neville. He shook with fright and ran, but he wasn't fast enough. The cloaked figure pointed his wand, and Neville blew up. His guts splattered everywhere. People shrieked and screamed, and Minerva ran crying. It was not long before the figure found her again. He lifted his wand and hissed, "If you join us I will leave you be, if not you will die"

"I would rather die than join you, you son of a bitch murderer! And I let you know just what I think of you people before you kill me," She said calmly in her cool manner.

"What do you think of us…..MUDBLOOD!"

With that remark she slapped the cloaked figure, he did not even move. With that she screamed a curse and he flew backwards.

"I think your all BASTARDS! Go to hell jackass!"

"I AM IN HELL!"

"B-A-S-T"

Minerva fell over twitching uncontrollably. Then she fell motionless. The man bent over her cold dead body, and lifted his hood. It was Lucius Malfoy. He took out a tube of lip stick and put the bright red color on his lips. He then bent over and kissed her on the cheek, leaving only a kiss mark and a rose behind.


	7. Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (darn). I love Tom Felton, I think Orlando Bloom is hot, and Chad Michael Murray is hot also.

Lucius walked away with a smirk on his face. He had just killed one of the greatest transfiguration teachers Hogwarts had ever seen! He felt proud and could not wait to tell Narcissa and Draco. Wait.

"NOOOOO!" Lucius screamed in anguish. Hyperventilating he screamed once more. He knocked things over and broke as much as he could. Clutching his stomach and throwing himself down, hurtling towards the ground, as he hit the balcony he crushed it causing himself to fall off it. He fell the long distance and saw on his way down ( He was falling down the grand staircase) Draco get hit by a curse from Flitwick. As he was falling a staircase got in his way and he was able to go to a ledge near Draco.

"Why is everyone that I love dying?" He thought to himself. "Why? DRACO NO!"

Draco had fallen motionless, but Lucius thought that maybe, just maybe he saw him blink. Flitwick kicked him and said in his sqeeky little voice, "Ha, not so brave now are you! Ding dong the witch is dead, which old witch? THE WICKED WITCH! Ding dong..."As Flitwick turned to go and fight another death eater and finish his "musical", Draco quickly got up and killed him. Lucius thought that he would not have the heart to do it. Lucius ran towards Draco, and smoothed his hair.

"No I'm not," he saidheartlessly.

"I am so proud, your first killing!"

"Thanks I guess, but I….I, it just felt wrong." Draco added coolly.

"I know how you feel, I was nervous my first time to. I'm just so proud, of course I knew you could do it though."

"Wait…..how did you get out of Azkaban?" he spat.

"Well, one of the aurorers was walking past, and so I transfigured myself into a snake, you see they could never find my wand and I," he replied, but Draco cut him off saying,

"I know you can turn into a snake old man, just tell me how you escaped!" he replied becoming impatient.

"Very well, I took my wand, which they never knew was in my cane and I made myself a boa, strangled to guard and slithered out, using the pipes of course, as so not to take the risk of being seen."

"Very nice," Draco said as he dodged another attack.

"Aren't you supposed to be on your way to….well you know …..go on now, and hurry!"

Draco knew perfectly well what he was supposed to do, but he wasn't sure himself if he could do it. It just didn't feel right, he had bragged to Pansy and Crabbe, and Goyle, but he never actually thought about what kind of a punishment it would involve. On the dark side he would have eternal glory, and worship of all kind. If he didn't succeed, he would die. He went to find Dumbledore.

I know...it's short, but it's not my fault! I haven't had much time to update, I'm busy. This weekend I promise I will update and it will be the longest chapter that Ihave ever written! R&R!

Until next time,

Your loyal writer, FriendsofSltherin Slytherin Rules and Gryffindor Drools!


	8. Pansy's

Draco ran through the corridors, dodging curses and other spells as he went. BANG! He felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder. What's going on? he thought, as all he started to see was black. Malfoy fought to stay awake, but the curse was to powerful, his eyes fell shut. Draco passed out. He woke up about twenty minutes later and realized he had to get going, but he couldn't seem to get to his feet. Pansy, who had been helping some death eaters, saw that Draco needed help getting up, so she pulled him up and gave him a good luck kiss. He turned to her and pulled her into a well needed, passionate kiss. He turned to leave but she held on, she gave him one last kiss and said, "Draco, please don't go…..don't leave me!" She sobbed.

"I…..Pansy…..stop crying. Get a hold of yourself you slut! You know I have to!"

"No you don't! You….. You c-c-could g-go in-into hiding!" she stuttered

"It wouldn't work and you know it, I have to go!"

"Promise me that you will come back….promise!"

"I promise……. I have to go!"

She finally let him go and went back to fighting.

"Ah, Draco I've been expecting you, you're five minutes late. I'm surprised, you're usually so punctual." He said in a calm matter, as if talking about his favorite candy.

"Shut up old man, don't make this any more painful than necessary! You always treated that Saint Potter like he could do no wrong!"

"That would be very inaccurate on a few accounts." he said with a glint in his eye.

"And now look at you! You're too weak to fight me now! Now I am greater than that stupid Potter and his filthy mudblood friend Granger! Ron, I really don't care, he couldn't hit the side of a barn. Him and his mudblood loving family. I'm the one who was smart enough to find out how to bring the death eaters to Hogwarts! "

"Yes, Draco you are so wise." He said with a smile curling in the corner of his mouth.

"Shut up! SHUT up! SHUT UP!" he screamed getting louder and louder.

"Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore asked with a calm manner.

Draco smacked the Lemon Drop out of his and screamed.

"AARRGGHH! You're impossible, you're a loon! A COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOON!"

"Really, I didn't think so, I definitely hadn't noticed."

Draco held up his wand and clenched his other fist kicking the desk with all of his might. He lowered his wand and brushed his hair out of his face. He turned around as if to leave, but instead he turned and punched Dumbledore in the face. He jumped over the desk and started to beat him to a bloody pulp and said, "I may not be able to kill you, but I sure can kick your…"

Just then Draco was cut off by someone turning the doorknob. He hid behind a plant and waited to see who showed up. Dumbledore walked through the door and noticed a creature that looked oddly like him, lying on the floor. It looked like a smooched orange. It started to transform. Just then Malfoy realized what this thing was. It was not Dumbledore at all. How could I have been so stupid! He thought. I would have never been able to do that, he is too powerful. He soon realized that the creature was a…..

Pansy ran to a corner to take a brake were no one could see her and she wouldn't get hit.

"Ow!" Pansy screeched.

"Ha Ha! I gotcha!" teased Zacarihas.(sp?)

"That wasn't funny! I thought you were…well someone else!"

"Who is that someone else?" he teased.

"It's none of your business! Besides, it's not you!"

"Is it……Draco?"

She blushed and turned her head away.

"Ha Ha it is!"

"Where have you been to not know that!"

"I was joking! Everyone knows you like him!"

"Is it that obvious?" she sighed

"Yeah, you trail him like a lost puppy!"

She started to cry.

"Aw, com'n Pansy. I was only joking. Geese you're fuckin sensitive."

"No I'm not! It's just that….that, well…"

"Spit it out, we haven't much time."

"I love him!"

"It was one date!"

"It was more than one date!"

"Okay, seven!"

"FOURTEEN!"

"He fucked you didn't he! Wait till I tell Arian! She's got the biggest mouth in the school!"

"He didn't fuck me. We made love to each other."

"It's the same thing!"

"No it's not! When you fuck someone, it means nothing. When you make love, it's passionate and wanted!"

He laughed.

"What's so funny!"

"He was using you."

"No…no he wasn't!"

"Yeah…..yeah he was!" he laughed.

"He said he loved me!"

"He was looking for an easy fuck!"

"No he wasn't! He cares about me!"

"He was bragging about how easy it would be to do you"

She slapped him and said, "Don't you ever say that"

"It's only the truth."

"You're just upset that I dumped you and went out with Draco!"

"Think what you wanna think."

She stormed off and went to fight against another teacher.

Draco found out that the creature was a bogart in the form of Dumbledore. As Dumbledore stood by the window staring out of it, for some reason not minding the wounded creature on the floor. Draco slipped out the door, though he had a feeling that Dumbledore knew he was there because……..

To be continued……Muahahahahaha! Evil laugh! Another cliff hanger my dear fans, I am so sorry that I must hold you in suspense, but how much fun would that be if I didn't? Guess what! I found out what Dumbledore means! A Dumbledore is a type of bee! Isn't that weird! But oh so cool, anyway, I just thought you would like to know!


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